Recenzje

Marcowy „Egzorcysta” o wybaczaniu

Tematem marcowego numeru miesięcznika Egzorcysta jest wybaczanie. Bogna Białecka w swoim tekście na ten temat zauważa, że „przebaczanie nie oznacza ignorowania niesprawiedliwości ani pozwalania, by ktoś cię źle traktował”. Wybaczanie jest korzystne dla tego, który wybacza – „u wybaczającego obniża się poziom złości i wrogości, a zwiększa się jego zdolność do kontrolowania gniewu”. „Gdy uwalniamy się spod kontroli negatywnych wydarzeń z przeszłości, przestajemy powtarzać negatywne zachowania”. „Gdy wybaczamy, poprawia się nasza zdolność kochania i przyjmowania miłości oraz ufania innym. Rezultatem tego jest poprawa zdrowia psychicznego”.

 

Trzymanie urazy szkodzi temu, kto został skrzywdzony – „rozpamiętywanie doznanej krzywdy powoduje, iż sami reagujemy wrogo wobec innych ludzi”. Ci co się mścili cierpią bo nadal bo „czuja złość wobec krzywdziciela” i równoczesnej „poczucia winy za wyrządzone zło” w czasie zemsty.

Etapy przebaczania przebiegają przez przypomnienie sobie okoliczności krzywdy, spisanie sobie wspomnień o czynie bez oceny czy emocji, bez przypisywania emocji sprawcy (bo tych emocji nie znamy). Kolejnym etapem jest empatia wobec sprawcy – trzeba spojrzeć na sprawę z punktu widzenia sprawcy, sprawca mógł działać emocjonalnie (np. ze strachu), W kolejnym etapie miłosierdzie pozwala wybaczyć. Nie jest to jednak koniec procesu wybaczania, w wybaczeniu trzeba wytrwać – wolno ulegać przykrym wspomnieniom, rozpamiętywać.

Obok wybaczania innym, trzeba też wybaczyć sobie, wtedy gdy dręczy nas toksyczny wstyd, który wpędza nas w bezczynność (odmienny od zdrowego poczucia winy które skłania do czynienia dobra). W procesie wybaczania samemu sobie należy zdefiniować zło, zaakceptować proces uzdrawiania (to, że musi on potrwać jakiś czas), szukać pomocy we wspólnocie, Wziąchów odpowiedzialność za swój czyn. Bardzo w tym procesie katolikom pomaga spowiedź.

Jan Bodakowski

WSZYSTKIE PRAWA DO TEKSTU ZASTRZEŻONE. Możesz udostępniać tekst w serwisach społecznościowych, ale zabronione jest kopiowanie tekstu w części lub całości przez inne redakcje i serwisy internetowe bez zgody redakcji pod groźbą kary i może być ścigane prawnie.

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