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Wakacyjne wynurzenia Michała M. (1) – Parawaning drogą do sprawności fizycznej

Wszystkie me(n)dia w Polsce rzuciły się na szlachetny i pożyteczny zwyczaj z nadbałtyckich plaż znany jako parawaning. Wszystkie. Od żydowsko-trockistowskiej „Gazety Wyborczej” i żydokomunistycznej „Polityki” po niemieckie Ringier Axel Springer, czyli „Fakt” i lisowski „Newsweek” piętnują parawaning jako największą zbrodnię Polaków zaraz po współudziale w Holokauście i nieprzyjmowaniu islamskich nachodźców. Tymczasem parawaning jest dobry. I to z wielu względów.

Po pierwsze parawaning wspiera rodzimy mały biznes i drobną wytwórczość. Ktoś musi przecież te kilka palików połączyć z materiałem, ktoś go później sprzedaje, czy wypożycza. A więc jednym zdaniem – są miejsca pracy! Przy szczególnie skąpych i pazernych turystach parawan powstaje w przydomowej altance, czy garażu. Przez co pan domu może podnieść swoje libido i poczuć się samcem alfa. Gdy czasami nie trafi młotkiem w gwóźdź pracę ma także karetka i SOR pobliskiego szpitala.

Po drugie – jest on w pełni uzasadniony przez nasze warunki klimatyczno-pogodowe. Kto wie, jak potrafi wiać i sypać po oczach na bałtyckich plażach ten rozumie, że parawaning to żaden wymysł Polaka-cebulaka, który chce się ogrodzić od swoich sąsiadów, niczym nasz kraj od biednych i uciskanych „nachodźców” tylko konieczność. Parawan daje poczucie oazy bezpieczeństwa i ciepła rodzinnego w tej porąbanej niczym świnia na mielonkę rzeczywistości. W świecie którego się wszystko po…myliło i stoi na głowie.

Wreszcie po trzecie – Parawaning to dla wielu jedyny sposób na odrobinę ruchu i wysiłku fizycznego. Miło tak popatrzeć jak Pani, która chwilę wcześniej wchłonęła półtorej pizzy o średnicy 52 cm (gdy jedna spokojnie starcza czterosobowej rodzinie na obiad) żeby dotrzeć do plaży sunie niczym czołg wolnobieżny z I Wojny Światowej (nawet jeszcze wolniej) półtora kilometra przez Kąty Rybackie i las z parawanem na ramieniu to wiemy, że jest to dobre, pożyteczne i potrzebne. To jedyny ruch, jakiego może zaznać. I dlatego parawany powinny być jak najcięższe. Niestety drewno i materiał nie ważą aż tyle, żeby Pani coś schudła, ale może za to wolniej tyć.

Dlatego postuluję tworzenie parawanów z kołków stalowych i siatki zbrojonej oraz wprowadzenie zajęć z chodzenia z parawanem i jego rozkładania na czas na wzór nordic walking, czyli chodzenia z kijkami. Żebyśmy byli zdrowsi, szczuplejsi, a przede wszystkim szczęśliwsi.

Michał Miłosz

Jeżeli podobają Ci się materiały publicystów portalu Prawy.pl wesprzyj budowę Europejskiego Centrum Pomocy Rodzinie im. św. Jana Pawła II poprzez dokonanie wpłaty na konto Fundacji SOS Obrony Poczętego Życia: 32 1140 1010 0000 4777 8600 1001. Pomóż leczyć ciężko chore dzieci.

WSZYSTKIE PRAWA DO TEKSTU ZASTRZEŻONE. Możesz udostępniać tekst w serwisach społecznościowych, ale zabronione jest kopiowanie tekstu w części lub całości przez inne redakcje i serwisy internetowe bez zgody redakcji pod groźbą kary i może być ścigane prawnie.

130 komentarzy

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    2 września 2017 at 17:42

    Polska mentalność lubi budować wokół siebie swoją małą ojczyznę. To ma związek z własnością ziemi, ze stadłem rodzinnym i ma bardzo głębokie korzenie. Jest prawdziwie polskim obyczajem i oczywiście koczowniczemu plemieniu nie może się podobać. Należy nie przejmować się ujadaniem tych pejsatych kundli i dalej robić swoje.

    • angol

      2 września 2017 at 18:39

      Całkowicie popieram 🙂
      W latach 2005 i 2006, „śladami Joanny Chmielewskiej” (jej książki „Złota Mucha”, której akcja toczy się w Piaskach, na Mierzei, pod ruską granicą), spędziłem dwa razy po 2 tygodnie na tamtejszej (wówczas, nie wiem, jak dzisiaj) plaży NUDYSTÓW.
      Nudystów było tam mało, co 50-100 metrów jeden, a z powodu słusznie przez Pana Michała zauważonych piasków w oczy na dującym bez przerwy wichrze, każde „stanowisko” otoczone było wałem z piachu, z powbijanymi dookoła palikami z „bele czego”, różnymi korzeniami, dechami, potrzaskanymi skrzynkami i napełnionymi piachem PET-ami. Mało kto miał parawanik, obowiązkowo w paski koloru pedalsko-lesbijskiej tęczy :).. Każde takie stanowisko wyglądało jak twierdza…
      MOJĄ twierdzę, zajmowaną wraz z moją ówczesną Panią, nazwaliśmy „Festung Breslau”, bo ona była z WrocłAAWIAA 🙂
      Aha.
      NIE MAM na imię „Janusz” i nie uprawiam cebuli.
      Ani nie mam Passata 🙂
      A moja Pani nie miała na imię Grażyna, ani Halyna 🙂

      • angol

        2 września 2017 at 18:41

        Ale chodzę w sandałach !!..
        (ale bez skarpetek..)

        • Mik

          3 września 2017 at 21:33

          Duńczycy chodzą w sandałkach nie tylko po plaży, czy mieście ale i do pracy w urzędzie gminnym.

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